berkian | one axe.

[ It's been about a day and a half since Astrid woke up here, and she's pretty certain she has enough information to actually make a move. ...And if she doesn't, well, screw it because she's not sticking around in the woods in a flimsy white dress reading from a magical book for any longer than she has been.

The book talks and writes and shows pictures (that one had nearly knocked her out of the tree she's taken up residence in for the moment) and Astrid's pretty certain she can figure out how to make it work in her favour. She's just not sure exactly what the hell is going on, even after reading or listening to the most recent things available to her.

The last three entries or so were useless (...if only she'd read back just a bit further, and overall she's given up deciphering the meaning of the magical words in the magical book and is going to take a leap of faith and just...ask. Admittedly she's been spending a lot of time just working up the nerve to use the mystery magical book, but, well, what other options are there? She's far enough out in the woods that wandering off would probably end badly. ]

Hello? Is this thing working? How are you supposed to be able to tell? [ Magical books are pretty new to her. There's a frustrated little sigh. Following the sigh is muttering, meant to be under her breath but still audible, because controlling her voice is the least of Astrid's worries. ] This is the sort of thing Hiccup or Fishlegs would like, not me. I don't even know if this is actually something that works or if I've officially lost it. Next thing you know I'll be thinking I'm a dragon, living on the edges of town hunting sheep. That's always assuming I have officially lost it, which would explain a lot more than being sane would. I'm sitting in a tree with a makeshift spear. That's probably not the best sign for sanity.

Unless you can't find your axe, in which case making a spear is pretty sane a choice. I mean, it'd be less sane to sit in a tree without any sort of weapon, right?

Why am I even talking to myself about this? This is ridiculous. How does this ever help him?

...Whatever, if it isn't working or real, I guess I'll figure it out in a minute or two.

[ Raising her voice again. ] My name is Astrid Hofferson. I'd appreciate any directions you could give me to... [ distinct hesitation. She's...not totally sure what's happening still, but she's pretty certain "Berk" is out of the question for just now, and so she'll shelve that until she has enough on her side to worry about it. ] ...Whatever village is nearest, I guess.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I don't threaten children as a rule. And were I to threaten I would not bother to be vague.

[Eyebrow raise.]

Odin's beard is not nearly so great as you seem to think. Like all beards, it is a catcher of carelessly chewed food. [Moue of distaste.]

I'm not a child; I'm a trained warrior.

[ Yadda yadda yadda. The last sentence earns a brief frown. ]

Right, because of course you sit down to dinner with the gods every night, right?

If a young one.

[Eyebrow.] Not in the last two years, thank goodness for small mercies.

What.

[ Look, crazy guy, either explain your psychosis or go away. 8| Astrid's flat look holds no hint of patience. ]

[Loki smirks.]

Some viking you are, if you can't even recognize Loki.

[ yeah because the gods totally hang out in Berk, that's a thing they do.

The flat look goes straight to exasperated disbelief. ]

You want me to believe you're the trickster god? Because the gods would absolutely allow themselves to be trapped here.

[And suddenly he appears behind her because he's a giant jerk face and finally figured out where she was from the video.]

Oh, so are we an expert on gods now, in addition to being a warrior?

[ WELP that's going to get him a spear jabbed right at his face sneaking up on armed vikings is a choice move. 8|

No verbal response, she's too busy not reacting well to this, because wtf. ]

[The spear rips through his head... or not. Since he just disintegrates.]

Rude. Very rude. Not a particularly intelligent way to greet a god.

[He is behind her again, like the giant douchebag we all know he is. But at a much safer distance this time.]

It's a perfectly intelligent way to greet someone who shows up behind you.

[ there's absolutely no welcome in that tone. ]

Planning to do so again? [Loki examines his fingernails. Oh, he's used to not being welcome.]

...No, I'm planning to go somewhere else.

[ Whatever. ]

Good luck with that. This fish bowl is rather small.

You know, you're starting to make me think Odin had a point about abandoning Midgard. Unsettling thought, that.

one axe.

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